Part of the FamilyDecode Method: Decode → Plan → Practice → Review
Active listening has a reputation for being complicated. In reality, it's mostly one reflex: before advising, correcting, or reassuring — show that you heard. That small shift changes the quality of every conversation, especially with a child who "never tells you anything."
Five phrases to keep handy: "Tell me about it." "What did you think about that?" "That must have been [frustrating / amazing / hard]." "What was the toughest part?" And the simple "Mm-hmm, I'm listening" — without looking at your phone. None of them offers a solution; all of them open a door.
The trap to avoid: turning listening into an interrogation. One question, then silence. Children fill the silences of adults who know how to stay quiet.
Read next: My teen won't talk to me · also in this topic: How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Yelling: A Simple 3-Step Method, The Weekly Family Meeting: A 20-Minute Ritual That Calms Everyone Down, Little Phrases That Hurt Our Kids (and What to Say Instead)
Put it into practice: the Family Meeting Agenda and the Family Values Map — or start free with the Family Active-Listening Guide.
Go deeper: this article is part of the Family Communication guide, built on the FamilyDecode Method.
