Part of the FamilyDecode Method: Decode → Plan → Practice → Review
Many difficult behaviors are, underneath, clumsy requests for connection. Rather than adding rules, it's often more effective to fill the tank: a short but complete stretch of time where your child has all of your attention — no phone, no siblings, no teaching agenda.
The "special time" format: 10 minutes, daily if possible, where your child picks the activity (within reason) and you follow their play instead of directing it. Name it out loud: "this is our time." For a teen, it becomes a car ride just for two, a shared show, shooting hoops.
Ten minutes sounds trivial against a packed day. But regularity is the point: a child who knows their moment is coming no longer needs to demand it by making noise.
Read next: A calming bedtime routine · also in this topic: Running on Empty: Managing Your Own Emotions Before Your Kids', Teaching Your Child to Name Their Emotions: Simple Games and Daily Rituals, After-School Meltdowns: Smoothing the School-to-Home Transition
Put it into practice: the Feelings Weather Journal and the Family Meeting Agenda — or start free with the Feelings Wheel.
Go deeper: this article is part of the Emotional Intelligence guide, built on the FamilyDecode Method.
